The Status.... Que?

"Why is your blog so funny, Dave?" I often pretend to hear people ask. The answer is quite simple. The key to a "funny" blog is self-loathing and blatant plagiarism. It's good to have a healthy mix of the two. In every one of the posts I've done so far, I've done nothing but hate upon my boring life and rip off virtually everything I've ever read or heard. Is this post in the same vein as the others?

Fuck no.

My life is a little less boring, and a little more original. Despite not doing a lick's work during the entire winter break - be it academically or professionally - I was pleasantly surprised by the number of things that have semi-gone-right in my life in the two weeks previous.

1) I am now a supervisor at the Movie Studio. Goodbye, crappy resume.
2) I am now level 60 in World of Warcraft. Goodbye, University Degree.
3) On the topic of university, I threw together the most ghetto winter 2006 schedule in september last year, yet I still ended up with no classes on MWF, 4 courses, and a FS class with no textbook (not to mention the easiest required watching movie list) and all the prerequisites I need for next year.
4) A GST rebate check. Hurray for free money.
5) Dole Juice in a Can. I love Dole Juice in a can. It's the same amount of liquid for twice the price, but five times the fun!
6) An obscene amount of Mandarin Oranges in the fridge.
7) A Motorola RAZR. You know, so I can wait for the calls that never come... In Style!
8) My Sleeping patterns have normalized, relatively. I now sleep at 2-3 am and wake up at 10-11am. Incredible!
9) Interjections!
10) Exclamation Marks!


Fear not, all you Dave-haters out there, I haven't done anything to deserve this kind of great luck.

And we all know Karma's a bitch.