R.I.P. Chester...
We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Chester.
Chester was a great friend to any who crossed his path. Whenever anyone wanted to go have a good time, Chester was always game. No matter what activity, be it Beach Volleyball, Football or even a game of Street Basketball, he would always be ready to go. Yet regardless of how violent the games got, he managed to maintain a high level of professionalism and innocence; he always seemed to have an angelic halo above his head. He never lost his temper, and always kept his temper, even in the face of Furious Ming, Tiger Woods or even Roy Jones Jr.
For the last month, Chester was sick. His best friend, Dave, had betrayed him and led him astray. Dave kept pushing him to more and more dangerous heights, until Chester was no longer what he once was. The wonderful being he once was became an evil, ill-tempered beast. Refusing to do any kind of work, he sat in his basement and slept, occaisionally awakened by Dave only to act up and freak out on him. He kept getting sicker, but by then we had already begun to suspect that Chester's time would come soon.
It did. Earlier this afternoon at approximately 7:30 pm MST, the light in Chester went out for the last time.
But he would not have wanted us to grieve for him, he would have wanted us to live on. He gave us the courage to do things we had never done before; to break boundaries and become all that we could be. It was his call of duty. So as we lay him to rest today, we remember not Chester in his last days, lights blinking red and green; We remember when he would glow a solid green, to let us know that all was right in the world. We don't remember his temper tantrums, but instead his ability to play Super Nintendo and Gameboy Advance roms. And no matter what happens, we'll always remember his last words.
Please Contact Microsoft Support.
We remember Chester, the X-Box.
See you later buddy, I guess you've given your last Dirty Disc Error.
Chester
Console system, DVD player, Friend.
2003-2005.
(Note: I subconsciously stole this idea from Chris Laver. Sorry Chris, I guess you actually taught ME how to both rock -and- roll.)
Chester was a great friend to any who crossed his path. Whenever anyone wanted to go have a good time, Chester was always game. No matter what activity, be it Beach Volleyball, Football or even a game of Street Basketball, he would always be ready to go. Yet regardless of how violent the games got, he managed to maintain a high level of professionalism and innocence; he always seemed to have an angelic halo above his head. He never lost his temper, and always kept his temper, even in the face of Furious Ming, Tiger Woods or even Roy Jones Jr.
For the last month, Chester was sick. His best friend, Dave, had betrayed him and led him astray. Dave kept pushing him to more and more dangerous heights, until Chester was no longer what he once was. The wonderful being he once was became an evil, ill-tempered beast. Refusing to do any kind of work, he sat in his basement and slept, occaisionally awakened by Dave only to act up and freak out on him. He kept getting sicker, but by then we had already begun to suspect that Chester's time would come soon.
It did. Earlier this afternoon at approximately 7:30 pm MST, the light in Chester went out for the last time.
But he would not have wanted us to grieve for him, he would have wanted us to live on. He gave us the courage to do things we had never done before; to break boundaries and become all that we could be. It was his call of duty. So as we lay him to rest today, we remember not Chester in his last days, lights blinking red and green; We remember when he would glow a solid green, to let us know that all was right in the world. We don't remember his temper tantrums, but instead his ability to play Super Nintendo and Gameboy Advance roms. And no matter what happens, we'll always remember his last words.
Please Contact Microsoft Support.
We remember Chester, the X-Box.
See you later buddy, I guess you've given your last Dirty Disc Error.
Chester
Console system, DVD player, Friend.
2003-2005.
(Note: I subconsciously stole this idea from Chris Laver. Sorry Chris, I guess you actually taught ME how to both rock -and- roll.)
posted by Dave Chung @ 9:29 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
When i got to that last bit about his last words, and then read please contact microsoft support or whatever, I almost crapped myself i was laughing so hard. Seriously. Damn near crapped my pants. Think how akward that woulda been here at work.
Yep. Unpleasant.
But man, your material is priceless, keep churning it out, then i can steal it and hook up a book deal.
Hold on....
an eMemorial...
YOU THEIVING BASTARD!
Though, the "contact Microsoft" line was priceless.
I'll give you that.
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